Posted in Stories, tagged billy squire, churchill, credit card, crystal light, durian, everybody wants you, faux-hawk, fruit, funny, humor, jesus, kiss, loser, love, nut huggers, penis, piano, pit stains, rachmaninoff, sex, social butterfly, swingy arms, unibrow on August 28, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
You see em comin at you every night
Strung on pretension they fall for you at first sight
You know their business – you think it’s a bore
They make you restless – It’s nothin you ain’t seen before
Get around town, spend your time on the run
You never let down, say you do it for fun
Never miss a [...]
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Posted in Stories, tagged ejaculate, falcon, flatulate, funny, goober, humor, mucous hat, sneeze, weave on July 28, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Today in class I sneezed, accidentally ejaculating mucous all over the back of Shekia’s head. Thank God she was wearing a weave.
“Ohh, man, look at that!” I point to the window with frenetic enthusiasm. And then quickly – and with utmost stealth – I swipe to pick the goober in one fluid grab.
Failure.
“I think [...]
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Posted in Stories, tagged black, doo-rag, fried chicken, funny, humor, Kool-Aid, plie, powdered doughnuts, sardine, school, swastika, tattoo, ugly women, what we'z got in common, white on July 19, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
My bark sputters powdered doughnuts. My rampage puts on tights, grand plies.
It’s hard to be intimidating when you’re white. There just ain’t nothing scary about it. I mean, if you’re a black guy on a job interview, well sure, it’s got to be terrifying. But I’m talking physically here. Some guys pull it off, [...]
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Posted in Miscellaneous, tagged 808, bass, celebration, dna, funny, humor, maury, not the father, outkast, paternity test on July 17, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Com’n!
But I know ya’ll wanted that 808, can you feel that B-A-S-S bass.
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mrkimble