Damn You, Swingy Arms

You see em comin at you every night Strung on pretension they fall for you at first sight You know their business – you think it’s a bore They make you restless – It’s nothin you ain’t seen before Get around town, spend your time on the run You never let down, say you do [...]

Read Full Post »

The Mucous Hat

Today in class I sneezed, accidentally ejaculating mucous all over the back of Shekia’s head.  Thank God she was wearing a weave.  “Ohh, man, look at that!”  I point to the window with frenetic enthusiasm.  And then quickly – and with utmost stealth – I swipe to pick the goober in one fluid grab. Failure. [...]

Read Full Post »

What We’z Got in Common

My bark sputters powdered doughnuts.  My rampage puts on tights, grand plies.  It’s hard to be intimidating when you’re white.  There just ain’t nothing scary about it.  I mean, if you’re a black guy on a job interview, well sure, it’s got to be terrifying.  But I’m talking physically here.  Some guys pull it off, [...]

Read Full Post »

Celebrate Good Times

Com’n! But I know ya’ll wanted that 808, can you feel that B-A-S-S bass.

Read Full Post »